Dear John Letter

Dear Cardinals,

You know I love you. I try to go to your games and spend as much money as I can each and every time. I flew home from Chicago for the opening day game that never was. I bought great tickets for Cubs game at home for Brad's 30th birthday. I loved my seats for the Cubs Cards series at Wrigley. I know you won on that Saturday just for me. I listened to you every Sunday on the Mayflower, watched you most every weekday night and loved when you had day games (yeah for 2 hour lunches). You made our girls day out to the Cards game awesome as usual, even though you lost.

I wore my cardinal beads, shirts and jersey's with pride. However, I think we both know it's time for a change. The same excitement just isn't there anymore. I'll never forget being there when you won the World Series in 2006. I have never been as proud of you as I was then.

Not to say that come next April we can't try this again. I just know that our hearts aren't in it right now. Maybe things will change, maybe you will come back. But I can't go on "hoping" that you make the wild card. I must move on.

I think we need to take a break. I've found someone else. They are called the Rams. They play football. I know.... they will probably disappoint me too, but I have to give them a chance. I need to see where this can go.

I'll still be there for you, but I just can't give you all the support and attention I have the past 5 months. I'm sorry. It's me not you.

My Sunday's will now be spent in front of the tv for hours watching football. I'm going to put away my Ozzie, Albert, and un-named white jersey in just a few weeks and replace you with Bulger. Hate the player, not the game.

I'm sorry. Just know I'll always love you. I'm sorry.

Dog Days of Summer

It was only the 2nd time this year of getting to take the Mayflower out. This past weekend we only had a few friends that wanted to go... so being the good mother that I am, I suggested we take Mattey.

Our dog LOVES the water. It cracked us all up because she would walk down the steps to get into the lake, but wouldn't jump in, unless of course Brad or I did so first. She did so great.

Up until Brad decided to take her on the jet ski (DINK). She loved every minute of it. Which was actually a huge pain b/c after her ride, she couldn't see a jet ski coming or going without barking and trying to get on it, and we had 2 of them out there.

Even at the end of the day, she wanted so bad to in the lake with us and actually fell asleep on her "raft". She's cute. It wore her out. It was a great day for the Pauley family.

However, the list of words to not say around Mattey include:

Hot Dog, leash, car ride, cat, kitty cat, bunny

and now: jet ski-thanks Brad.

18 Pounds

That's how much I've lost in past 11 weeks of being on Jenny Craig. It has actually been pretty easy to be on the diet. However, I was becoming a bit discouraged because I feel like it has been slow progress (I'm impatient and want to be skinny NOW).

However, Brad and I went to Cards game on Thursday night for a friend's birthday. We happen to have taken almost the exact same picture as we did when we went to the Cubs game in May.

Looking at the difference in the 2 pictures has made me more excited than anyone could possibly know. Or at least in my mind there is a big difference. Brad has lost weight too (nearly 30lbs and is almost at his goal...however this is about me, not him:) View for yourself:

I'm baaaaccckkkkk

Well now that Laurie is back to blogging, apparently I am too. I felt like she was the only to read my blog so when she stopped, so did I. But she is forcing me out of hibernation so here it is:

My Joys:

• Spending the weeknd with Brad and our friends out on the boat. I have forgotten just how much I love and need it every weekend.
• Having my puppy, Mattey, to come home to every day. I have missed that feeling so much more than I could possibly have imagined.
• Enjoying my work. I haven't ever had a joyful work experience. I really like what I'm doing and it makes it the weeks without Brad so much easier.
• Laurie being home and being happy. Its a really, really nice feeling having her in the same country, regardless of how close it is to me.

My Fears:

• Not being a good parent. No, I'm not pregnant, but thinking of the possiblity of having kids and thinking of how they could turn out scares me out of thinking of the joy they could be.
• Losing a very good friend or family member.
• Having everything around come crashing down around me. I feel like we are finally in a really good point in our lives and I worry that it could end at any time. (I'm such an optimist right??)

My Goals:

• To lose this weight and get to a healthy self-image.
• To be the best sister, daughter, friend, wife that I can be.
• To enjoy life to its fullest.
• To be on a reality tv show (you all didn't think I had given up on that did you? lol)

My Current Obsessions/Collections:

• Scrapbooking-who would have thought I would love it so much?
• Traveling-there are still so many places I want to visit.
• Chick Lit-Jennifer Weiner, Jane Green, and Cathy Kelly are the ones I can't put down. I've read 2 books already this year and I'm not usually a reader.
• Reality Tv. No, it hasn't stopped yet.

Random Surprising Facts About Me:

• After years of surgery and tubes in and out of my ears, I have a very low hearing ability in one of my ears (probably not so surprising to those that know me and my loud talking:)
• I don't drink milk. Can't stand it. I haven't had a glass of milk or milk in cereal since I was in the 2nd grade. However, I still love, ice cream, cheese, sour cream, yogurt, and cottage cheese.
• I once won over $400 from black jack in Vegas. I played for nearly 5 hours on only $60.

So... that's me, in a nut shell. I would tag others, but I don't know who reads this... so if you do, consider yourself tagged.

Best thing about being home...

aside from knowing all the side roads, getting to watch the Cardinals, seeing my friends on a regular basis, sleeping in my own bed, and having TIVO back is this:

Finally, Home Sweet Home.

Tourist

Over Easter weekend our friends Bryan and Crystal drove up here to the "Windy City" to visit us. We went to the Shedd Aquarium, Ed Debevic's for lunch and then to the Sear's Tower. It was fun, but exhausting--we joked about how much time we spent waiting in lines.

I was glad I finally got to see some of the city. I also had the BEST DOUBLE CHOCOLATE MALT ever at Ed's.

It had snowed the night/day before of course (that is what it does up here). I'm excited to get back to St.Louis, but it was an experience I'm grateful to have had.

Any other requests???---LOL!

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